The · Enigma · Diaries

I found my match. My crush from high school, after 6 long years I finally have him to myself. And it feels so good to know that I am not alone in my feelings towards him. He treats me so nice, he's sweet, giving, fun, I can trust him and I don't feel like I have to put on airs to be around him.

The only downside is, and I know what your thinking...'A down side? what the hell is this girl's problem?!' the man is everything I want but I can't seem to get rid of the image of him as the friend with the girlfriend, always with a new girlfriend in high school. I know its going to be a struggle to get that image fixed into a picture of him and me, just us two.

Aside from college giving me stress acne, stomach pains and sleepless nights..I am happier now that I have someone who wants to make me feel better after a hard day. Now if only I could find a job, then things would be perfect.

Hmm, my favorite word. If we're talking about curse word then I would have to say, 'Motherfucker', because it is a noun to describe a person, place or thing.

But my favorite standard would is, 'Why' because the simple use of that world allows for a whole continuous discussion and offers so much understanding, but also a mystery in its self.

Well, officially tomorrow i turn 23 yrs old. And that nagging feeling has arrived. I have done nothing in my life worth bragging over. Yes i have attended college, but i should have already graduated. I don't have employment, i should be working in a newspaper with my own column by now, I think i'm channeling Carrie Bradshaw. I should be in a relationship, but the boys aren't biting. I have no clue what else to do in life that would make this year different unless I make a list of goals I want to achieve by 24.

I did however, create a summer reading challenge on Facebook and so far I have a lot of people participating.

Went out yesterday with big brother, he took me to TGI-Fridays for lunch. I was just counting on the drinks, Ultimate Long Island Iced-Tea. with the drinks in, and appetizers, i felt good and not to mention, 40bucks. Pretty sweet deal.

I don't really want to celebrate tomorrow, but everyone is insisting that we have a cake and a special dinner. all i want is to drink in the dark.

depressing isn't it.

I guess i can do it for them, but right now i just want a bottle and endless Daria on the television.

ehh, whatever.
 

Love at first Taste: A Ville Valo Fan Fiction

    He’d been stalking her for months, he knew that coming anywhere near close to her would be the undoing of his life. She held that coffee cup so daintily, her smile was infectious and her voice was a knife sliding through a flame, lethal and warm. He had watched her from night to night, wondering if he should invite himself inside to spend the twilight hours keeping guard over her, watching to make sure her breathing didn’t ease and her dreams were kept pleasant.

    Hanging over the roof of the 3bedroom house she lived in with other people, he pushed his long hair away from his eyes and silently urged himself to finally trim those locks because they were becoming so bothersome. Though he knew his maker would be rather upset, he didn’t care. It was blowing in his mouth and getting caught in his jacket. Getting back to the task at hand, his pale green-blue eyes wondered through the windows of what he was sure that it was her bedroom. It held a brass bar bed painted in white spray paint, which was starting to peel, it gave a classic and vintage look to her more rougher edged surroundings. The walls covered in pictures, her with blond hair and red streaks standing next to another girl, drinks in hand and the other one with waist-length midnight black hair in loose curls.

    The one on the right was pretty yes, but he sensed darkness around here, was that why she never smiled in pictures, the reason why she kept sunglasses on? Who knows, but he knew if this dark hair one tried to hurt his blond female, there would be hell to pay. Getting control on his emotions and anger again, he turned slightly and jumped quietly down on the ground and peered in the farthest window, surrounded by trees and the sound of near by cars just over the hill, he could concentrate.

He didn’t see the girl and it felt like an eternity, he longed to see her movements, those legs walk so gracefully across the soft cream carpet, her perfectly manicured nails and toes, light pink, cotton candy in shade and something etched on her ring fingers of both hands. ‘What is that marking?’ he asked internally, it was some kind of abstract design in deep crimson.

    While he thought, he didn’t notice her walking into her bedroom carrying a basket of freshly laundered clothes, her friend with the midnight hair was closely behind, arms crossed under her amble bosom, no real expression but those sunglasses were finally off. Ville looked up again and he saw her, his breath was staggered and his eyes swallowed the entire sight of her. Creamy flesh, peach colored sweatpants and a lacy tank that held very little of her upper chest inside. He could spend a lifetime worshiping her body, nuzzling in her neck, kissing her pouty lips, biting.. Yes, biting her breast and watching her moan and slowly beg for more once she knew what he was doing and eventually beg for it to happen, again and again.

    They were talking about something, his woman was folding her sheets and placing them in the closet, while her friend continued to lean against the door frame, still arms crossed and expressionless eyes and no smile. ‘I wonder who they are speaking of?’ He placed a hand on the glass and closed his eyes to focus all his energy into that room, to become a fly on the wall.

    “I don’t see the big deal, why should spend my evening entertaining a bunch of senior partners on your behalf if they haven’t even made a decision on whether or not to give you that grant for your gallery show?” Vita was one who would do anything for her best friend but lately she had been abusing that privilege. Tucking her blond hair behind her ears and continued in the process of folding her clothes.

    ‘I don’t understand why you bother folding anyway, come morning all that time will be ruined because you either woke up late or your not sure what to wear with what.’ Cori was watching her go about folding still, she knew that morning would come and Vita’s clothes would be all over the room.

    “Your avoiding the question. Why should I help you with this knowing that the decision hasn’t even been made yet? That is more of an energy waster rather my folding, don’t you agree?” Vita stopped and dumped out all her tee-shirts and underwear on the bed and put the basket off to the side.

    ‘No.’ Cori said flatly and shifted her right leg position to her left leg.

    “I’m not helping you this time, Cori.” and she meant it.

That one response made Cori turn off the wall and stand before her best friend of 14yrs, she was stunned. ‘Vita, please. They always talk about who had wowed them and that is usually the same person who gets the grant for their show. Why can’t I be that person this year?’

“I’m not saying you can’t be that person, but why do you need me to come along? You’re a great artist, if that isn’t enough to get your grant from these rich bastards, then submit your idea to another committee and forget about jumping through hoops for a ‘maybe.’”

Cori knew Vita was right, but she didn’t fully understand. It was pointless to continue on with this conversation.

‘You don’t understand Vita, as much I love you, you just don’t understand what Brahma University of the Arts means to a starving artist, or even a mediocre artist like me, it’s a huge deal. Money, publicity and notoriety and the chance to be asked to present my show in the most exclusive art galleries in London. It’s not just one show, but my whole life.’

Vita felt bad, but she couldn’t keep on being Cori ace in the hole. It had to end, and end tonight. ‘Vita, please.’

Shaking her head, Vita spoke in a whisper so soft as if it would lessen the blow, ‘No.’ Looking up, she saw the hurt in her best friend’s eyes, Cori nodded and walked out of the bedroom and through the hall, down the stairs and slamming the front door. Jumping from the impact, Vita sat down on the bed and just felt awful.

‘Vita’ a name so unique, it spilled off of Ville’s lips and made his fangs ache at the chance of biting down on her flesh and hearing that name pound into his brain as he drank her essence. Removing his hand from the window, he felt bad for the girl known as Cori and watched as she hopped on her motorcycle, revving the engine and taking deep into the night.

This left him plenty of time to get Vita alone and seduce her into his arms and her blood into his veins. Imaging her blood coursing through his pale skin, made his eyes dilate into a deeper blue and his fangs pop out, he was becoming aroused soon, that sizzle he dreamt of would be flowing through him, and sharing it with her.

With Vita.